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Real Talk

Can we do some real talk here? Me and you? I take so many pictures with my phone that I often don’t have a place for them, so let’s stick them here, yeah?
Can we just talk for a minute about how many times I have confused these two keys?
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What kind of sadist comes up with shit like this? I don’t know how many times I’ve shoved the gray one (car key) into the truck ignition. It only goes in halfway, and then I’m cursing WHY WON’T YOU GO IN YOU FRIGGING PIECE OF RAT SHIT – oh. Never mind.
Toolboxes make excellent makeup and jewelry storage. More on this later.
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I went shopping and tried on two jumpsuits. (I KNOW, but I love them. It’s a problem.) The first one was a tank-and-shorts combo, and my waist is too high for that nonsense. Those nice length shorts become instant coochie cutters on me, so no thank you.
Then I found this one, which either makes me look like a paratrooper or Justin Bieber, I am unsure. It was $3.99 on clearance so I bought it anyway.

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Reason #645 that it takes me forever to get ready: look at all the crap I bring with me. Good God.
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Then when I take a turn while driving, I have to do the soccer mom arm to save it all.

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Please tell me your mother did this to you, too.
Yesterday I went for a drive and took the requisite Instagram manicure/steering wheel picture. Except most people probably don’t have the air bag light on.
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My air bag light is on. As is the check engine light, but that one’s been on forever, so we just ignore it at this point.
REAL TALK.
Have a good weekend!